Thursday, December 28, 2006

White Christmas

Kenny was able to have a White Christmas even though we live in San Diego.

No snow... no problem... Colorado has snow this time of year... and lots of it! He hopped on a jet and headed for Denver (it helped that he was getting paid for the flight... the benefits of being a corporate pilot!!!)

Not only did he get snow for Christmas... he got lots of YUMMY food too! He ordered the "Mixed Grill" that included Wild Boar, Pork and Venison and topped it off with the "Chocolate Tower" for dessert! The Pilot he went with ordered a $250 bottle of wine on the company since it was Christmas... too bad Kenny doesn't enjoy wine :(

I am so jealous... I am thinking of becoming a pilot too :)

Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas!

Look what we got for Christmas...

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

It's *Almost* Christmas!

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put his flying skills to the test.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the check ride. Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun. "What's that for?!?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time," as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, "but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."


Friday, December 15, 2006

Happy Birthday Kenny

♥ Happy Birthday Kenny ♥

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Seasons Greetings

Every single card we have received at my office boasts "Seasons Greetings" on the front. No "Merry Christmas" or even "Happy Holidays." I'd even be happy with a "Happy Hanukah", "Kool Kwanza" or even a "Super Solstice" card. Anything to break up the monotony above my desk.

I ♥ Wireless Internet

I am back online! Yippee!!! I know you all missed me and are breathing a collective sigh of relief.

We have my next door office neighbors to thank for giving me their password for their wireless internet. I am sooooo happy and now can enjoy work again... or at least spend time on blogger when I can't stand working any longer :)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Why we won't shop at K-Mart...

We have a cute little black dog as you all know. Between that cute little black dog, two busy people (me and Jen), our cheap tan carpet got pretty dirty over the past year. It needed to be cleaned.

Jen and I debated about hiring someone to come clean our carpets or just renting the machine and doing it ourselves. Cleaning the carpet ourselves seemed like a ton of work; we had to rent the machine and go pick it up, buy the chemicals and then pray we did not screw anything up while operating this fangled device. Ooooooooorrrrrrrrrr….. we could find a coupon in the paper that boasted a price less than we could rent the machine for, and they do all the work! A no brainer right?

A quick call to “--------” Carpet Cleaning and we were set. They were to arrive Tuesday between 10am and 1pm. A convenient three hour window where Kenny could stay home and get some homework done while the carpet genie swooped in and poof, clean carpets!

10 am - no carpet cleaner and no phone call, no problem.
11am - carpets still dirty, Kenny still doing homework in the peace and quiet.
Noon - Kenny hungry, Jen hungry, Pilot gets to go for a walk. Carpets all alone.
1pm – lunch is done, phone rings, carpet cleaner running 30 minutes late.
2pm – Kenny and Pilot on couch watching Judge Judy, TV volume set to normal.
2:45pm – phone rings again, carpet cleaner needs to confirm address, but claims to be on his way!
3pm – a ghetto van pulls up outside the house. It is mostly white, but the sliding door seems to be from another vehicle, one that used to be blue. There are no markings on the van, but Kenny has sneaking suspicion that this is the fabled carpet cleaner.

A man emerges from the van wearing blue Dickie’s pants and a matching blue Dickie’s shirt, neither of which are anywhere close to clean or presentable; they are maybe thread bare at best. He announces that he is indeed the carpet cleaner and asks what I want done. “Uh, I need my carpets cleaned…?” I answer.

I take him on a quick stroll through the house showing him the areas to be cleaned and then remind him that we have the “5 rooms for $29.95” coupon and yes, I understand there is a $5 travel charge.

Let’s paint the picture real quick. The man is older with thinning grey hair worn long to hide the thinning. The hair is greasy and sweaty from a day of lugging carpet cleaning supplies. He smells, well, he just plain ole smells bad! From like 5 feet away bad! Sweat, BO, and maybe a hint of poor hygiene for several decades. He also might be a little slow upstairs from sniffing carpet cleaning chemicals all day every day. When he was writing up the paper work, I saw him drool on himself (note – I almost vomited at that point).

So the man follows me through the house noting the rooms which needed to be cleaned and then he returns to the living room where he marches over to the couch and sits himself down right in the middle of it! I froze. No, he did not just sit on my couch, my couch… Yes, this dirty, smelly man is now taking the liberty of plopping his dirty butt on MY clean couch and acting like it is his right to be sitting there. No asking, no glance up at me, nothing. Just a plop and into his precious clip board paperwork.

After about three minutes he looks up at me. I am still standing there aghast, my jaw is somewhere around knees, and maybe a tear in my eye. He proceeds to tell me that the machine that the coupon is for does not do a very good job and that I really should use the truck mounted unit instead. Plus, he tells me I need to pre-treat the carpet and get some other blah blah blah.
“Uh, okay,” I say stunned, “how much more is that?”
“Two hundred fourteen dollars,” says he.
“I’ll stick with my coupon.”

He lumbers off to his truck to get the “low-end cleaning machine” and starts the process. He gets a five gallon bucket and walks into our guest bathroom to fill the bucket with some water from the bath and using that to fill the machine. He only slopped about half gallon on the carpet while filling it (please note the sarcasm of that sentence). Somewhere in there, I ask how long will this take? About 30 minutes, but I can get it done in 20. Great, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Finally, the machine is filled, the hoses run and it is making noise. The man starts in our master bedroom. He finishes the room in about 5 minutes and then approaches me again.

“I need to use your restroom” he informs me.
“Uhhhhhhh…..” gasp, gasp, gasp
Door shuts.

No, it cannot be. First the couch and now this? Maybe he just drank too much coffee….Nope, 5 minutes have gone by! Are those floaties? Vomit for the second time this afternoon.

It is now 4pm. Twenty minutes of actual cleaning, forty minutes of paperwork, prep work and potty work. He leaves.

I feel violated. This man came into my house. MY HOUSE. I feel dirty and ashamed. I feel cold and naked. I feel all alone in a dark world.

They give you a small three hour window. They charge less than you can rent it for. All you do is make a call and there they are. So easy, so nice. Lies! Deception!

The moral of this adventure: CLEAN YOUR OWN DARN CARPETS!

Remember this: Rent the machine, take the time some Saturday afternoon and clean your own carpet. You will not regret it. You will not save time, you will not save money, you will not be happy if the others do it!